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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
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This is a selection made from among articles on Emotional Intelligence. For a permanent link to this article, or to bookmark it for future reading, click here.

 Thoughts on Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence"

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Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence has certainly opened a lot of eyes. There was a time when people thought that emotion was the direct opposite of rational thought. Because of the book on emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman, however, people are beginning to think less about thoughts and more about feelings.

"Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman may at first seem to look like one of your average, shiny covered, self-help book. This is especially the case in the part about How to be more effective and get a promotion. This bit just gets under a person's defenses and attempts to attract people with the prospect of money.

However, this accomplishes so much more than take your cash. Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence" asserts that a person's ability to cope with emotions - both a person's own and others'-determines his or her life as much as his or her IQ does.

The value that we place on the so-called rational thought is called into question. We used to believe that the only way to arrive at the correct decision in life is to think without emotions. We used to consider emotions as the bane of rational thought. However, because of Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence", we have shifted our perception and we have understood the fact that we need to include our emotions in making our decisions.

One assertion that Goleman makes is the fact that emotional intelligence is not fixed from birth. It can be nurtured and lost during the course of one's life. This is because of the fact that emotional intelligence mainly comes from a person's experiences in life. As people have observed, this is actually quite true. A person's ability to cope with emotions is actually determined by the different emotional situations that he or she has faced in life.

In Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence" it is said that there are certain abilities essential to living that can be attributed to emotional intelligence:

Self- awareness - This is the ability of a person to truly asses his or her self. Many people do not realize that we are most blinded to our own shortcomings. A person with the right emotional intelligence will not be blinded by emotions, but would be able to discern his or her emotions from his or her thoughts.

Impulse control - A person's emotional intelligence determines his or her ability to control impulsive actions. By having proper emotional intelligence, a person can control the feelings that cause these impulsive decisions and think things through.

Sociability - A person's ability to interact socially is also highly affected by his or her emotional intelligence. This is because of the fact that emotional intelligence does not only involve a person's own emotions, it also involves understanding the emotions of other people. We all know how important social interaction can be in life. A person with the right emotional intelligence can get ahead just by knowing the right people.

Daniel Goleman's "Emotional intelligence" is a work designed to change the viewpoint of humanity. It does appear to be a backdrop for a get-rich-quick scheme at some points, but it does make some very valid arguments. It shows us just how much damage we have caused to our lives by pointedly ignoring the value of our emotions over the years. Hopefully, this is just the first step to truly changing our lives.


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